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Living with Uncertainty

29/9/2019

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​From an early age we are told about the world we live in by the people that surround us. While this helps us develop our understanding of our immediate environment, we do not always learn how to manage not knowing about the people and things that exist beyond.
 
Inevitable Uncertainty
However we choose to define it, the world is becoming ever more complex.  There was a time when things changed relatively slowly and we stayed within a small and well defined community.  In a global social and political economy our lives are subject to a myriad of influences that are impossible for most of us to fully comprehend much of the time.
 
Sticking with What We Know
We develop trust about the things that we know.  We recognise their qualities, good and bad, and appreciate what is likely to happen in any particular situation.  Our world becomes predictable and we take comfort in this.  Playing safe means we can avoid any risks or challenges but we must always stay with what is familiar to us.
 
Creating Certainty
Doubt can creep in through gaps in our knowledge and experience. We may try to counter uncertainty by working through all of the possible scenarios so everything has been considered and there can be no surprises.  This is hard and exhausting work.
 
Rituals, beliefs and repeated patterns of behaviour can all be used to create a sense of familiarity.  These can become increasingly important when we are faced with an unfamiliar world.  This can lead to obsessions where meaning is lost and only the rituals remain.
 
The Absence of Trust
A healthy child grows up believing their world is safe and they can trust the intentions of those around them.  Where this is shaken, or was never developed, we can see the world as unpredictable and unknowable.  Without basic trust in the good intentions of people we see the world as a dangerous place.  Without trust in a natural order of things we experience the world as chaotic and full of random and frightening events.
 
The Consequences of Uncertainty
It is important we find a way to manage the inevitable uncertainty of the world we inhabit. If we cannot, we may experience very negative consequences. Fear of the unknown can mean we feel anxious much of the time.  Managing anxiety over time can become very stressful.  It may require a high level of vigilance to ensure we are not caught out.  Consistently focussing on disappointment and the absence of hope can lead to low mood and depression.
 
Tolerating the Unknown
Sometimes we have no choice but to traverse uncharted waters.  Encountering new people and situations outside of what we know can be a challenge. We must let go of our need for certainty long enough to allow us time to appreciate and understand what is new.  Rather than trying to align new experiences with our existing knowledge we can expand our thinking to encompass this new information.  For this to happen we have to be able to exist for a time in a place of uncertainty. To do this we need to have a solid core based on real beliefs and values.
 
Embracing Uncertainty

Accepting that we may never know everything, means we can be open to new knowledge and experience.  Rather than expecting our world and its people to always be predictable, perhaps we can learn to trust our own ability to embrace what is new and to make whatever adjustments are necessary without it affecting our core beliefs and sense of self.
 
Know what you know, be curious about what you don’t know, and trust in your ability to manage whatever comes your way.  This will lead to improved resilience, increased confidence and the absence of fear.
 
© 2019 Michael Golding
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         © 2024 Michael Golding
  • Mission
    • My Story
    • Videos & Podcasts
  • Coaching
    • Individual Coaching >
      • Coaching for Decision-Makers
      • What Coaching can do for You
      • How the Coaching Programme Works
      • Signature Coaching Programme
      • Personalised Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Relationship Coaching >
      • Introduction to Relationship Coaching
      • Benefits of Relationship Coaching
      • Relationship Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Crisis Coaching >
      • Defining Crisis Coaching
      • The Value of Crisis Coaching
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Board & Trustee Coaching >
      • Development Coaching for Boards & Trustees
      • How Coaching works for Boards
      • The Plan for Coaching for Boards
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Counselling
    • Introduction to Counselling
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couples Counselling
    • Specialist Counselling
    • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Supervision
    • Introduction to Supervision
    • My Approach to Supervision
    • Supervision Programmes
    • Next Steps
  • FAQs
    • Coaching Q&As >
      • What is Special about Executive Coaching?
      • What is different about this model?
      • What if Face to Face Meetings are not possible?
      • Why have Executive Coaching?
      • Are there Taster Sessions?
      • Is it going to be worth it?
      • Will you understand my business?
      • Will you be able to deal with what I bring?
      • Will it be Confidential?
      • What happens at the end of the Programme?
      • Am I restricted to a particular Programme?
      • What if I am unhappy with the work?
      • Record Keeping
    • Counselling Q&As >
      • What is Counselling?
      • Who is it for?
      • How does it work?
      • How is it delivered?
      • How long does it last?
      • What is the difference between Counselling and Psychotherapy?
      • What kind of Issues can be discussed?
      • Is it Confidential?
      • What is Supervision?
      • What if I have a Complaint?
      • Record Keeping
  • Blogs & Articles
    • Index to Blogs and Articles
  • Client Feedback
  • Contact