MICHAEL GOLDING - COACH, COUNSELLOR & SUPERVISOR
  • Mission
    • My Story
    • Videos & Podcasts
  • Coaching
    • Individual Coaching >
      • Coaching for Decision-Makers
      • What Coaching can do for You
      • How the Coaching Programme Works
      • Signature Coaching Programme
      • Personalised Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Relationship Coaching >
      • Introduction to Relationship Coaching
      • Benefits of Relationship Coaching
      • Relationship Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Crisis Coaching >
      • Defining Crisis Coaching
      • The Value of Crisis Coaching
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Board & Trustee Coaching >
      • Development Coaching for Boards & Trustees
      • How Coaching works for Boards
      • The Plan for Coaching for Boards
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Counselling
    • Introduction to Counselling
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couples Counselling
    • Specialist Counselling
    • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Supervision
    • Introduction to Supervision
    • My Approach to Supervision
    • Supervision Programmes
    • Next Steps
  • FAQs
    • Coaching Q&As >
      • What is Special about Executive Coaching?
      • What is different about this model?
      • What if Face to Face Meetings are not possible?
      • Why have Executive Coaching?
      • Are there Taster Sessions?
      • Is it going to be worth it?
      • Will you understand my business?
      • Will you be able to deal with what I bring?
      • Will it be Confidential?
      • What happens at the end of the Programme?
      • Am I restricted to a particular Programme?
      • What if I am unhappy with the work?
      • Record Keeping
    • Counselling Q&As >
      • What is Counselling?
      • Who is it for?
      • How does it work?
      • How is it delivered?
      • How long does it last?
      • What is the difference between Counselling and Psychotherapy?
      • What kind of Issues can be discussed?
      • Is it Confidential?
      • What is Supervision?
      • What if I have a Complaint?
      • Record Keeping
  • Blogs & Articles
    • Index to Blogs and Articles
  • Client Feedback
  • Contact

Choosing the Drivers to Flourishing

17/3/2014

0 Comments

 
I believe that we all carry within us the necessary drivers to support our individual flourishing.  However, like all living things we are shaped by our environment.  In our case the biggest influence comes from the people around us, though circumstances may also play a significant role.  For most of us our early relationships influence our perception of our own ability while our circumstances affect the scale at which we are likely to be able to flourish.  Although there are often quoted examples where ability and ambition have gelled to allow people to transcend their origins, these are statistically rare and can easily become a distraction. 

In addition to the abilities that we have in common with others, we have individual talents that can be nurtured to become skills at various levels of specialisation, potentially to a degree that makes them unique.  Nurturing can be as much about protection from the harmful effects of toxins as ensuring maximum benefit through the addition of nutrients, while circumstances can complement or impede this growth.

With regard to individual flourishing, I draw no major distinction between successful entrepreneurs who may be running a corner shop or an international retail chain.  The differences between them are the scale of their operations and the scope of their influence. These can be traced back to the circumstances surrounding their personal development and how they have matched their ambition with opportunity.

Accepting that we each have a number of drivers, we also have the choice of which to pursue.  This requires us to identify, understand and acknowledge our abilities and then align these with our own individual interests.  The advantage that knowledge brings when it becomes understanding is to increase the choices available to us.  Those around us may encourage us to choose freely or seek to limit us through social or cultural stereotyping.  We may resist or acquiesce, take an easy path or one that stretches our abilities, depending on the voice we choose to listen to.

Identifying our actual and potential skills and abilities can happen naturally throughout our childhood and may even be regarded as one of the key objectives of formal education though this is seldom explicit.  This is an ideal time to learn about ourselves as well as the world we inhabit, and to explore how the two might fit together. 

For me this started out well enough with creativity being encouraged and individuality applauded.  All too soon this became a case of trying to round off the edges so that we could all squeeze into a similar mould. This left some of us worrying about the gaps that remained, and we tried filling the holes with other people’s left-overs.  Not surprisingly they did not fit and failed to connect fully with what was already there.  The shapes that emerged were recognisable from a distance but uniformity diminished the closer you got.  It took me many years to remove the extras I had tacked on and return to my original self, and it felt very much like I was starting again.  I can see now that the mould had become so worn that even the original pattern would not have recognised it as their own.  This had as much to do with the time I spent at home as well as school, and it was only when I was sufficiently removed from both that new growth that was truly my own could begin.

The motivation to become our best, rather than an idea of best that is inherited or introjected from those around us, is a fundamental desire and a natural process.   It will shine through if unfettered by the negative influences and distractions of others and if it is nourished appropriately.  It will be brightest when it is based on our own personal drivers to flourishing and not reflecting back the light from others.

There will be times when we need help with identifying our possible drivers, with deciding which will become our focus and how they can be nurtured.  There is nothing to be gained by lamenting the false starts, the dead-ends we wandered down and the wrong directions we were given.  Instead let us seek out those who can work with us to find our light and feed our flames so that we can become our brightest and our best.

© 2014 Michael Golding

0 Comments

    Becoming
    ​our best:

    Here are some of my thoughts on how we can continue along the road to becoming our best.

    Archives

    July 2021
    May 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    November 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    February 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All
    Coaching
    Counselling

    RSS Feed

       Telephone: 01621 770148      Mobile: 07824 709149    
         © 2024 Michael Golding
  • Mission
    • My Story
    • Videos & Podcasts
  • Coaching
    • Individual Coaching >
      • Coaching for Decision-Makers
      • What Coaching can do for You
      • How the Coaching Programme Works
      • Signature Coaching Programme
      • Personalised Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Relationship Coaching >
      • Introduction to Relationship Coaching
      • Benefits of Relationship Coaching
      • Relationship Coaching Programmes
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Crisis Coaching >
      • Defining Crisis Coaching
      • The Value of Crisis Coaching
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
    • Board & Trustee Coaching >
      • Development Coaching for Boards & Trustees
      • How Coaching works for Boards
      • The Plan for Coaching for Boards
      • Structure of Fees and Charges
      • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Counselling
    • Introduction to Counselling
    • Individual Counselling
    • Couples Counselling
    • Specialist Counselling
    • Next Steps for New Clients
  • Supervision
    • Introduction to Supervision
    • My Approach to Supervision
    • Supervision Programmes
    • Next Steps
  • FAQs
    • Coaching Q&As >
      • What is Special about Executive Coaching?
      • What is different about this model?
      • What if Face to Face Meetings are not possible?
      • Why have Executive Coaching?
      • Are there Taster Sessions?
      • Is it going to be worth it?
      • Will you understand my business?
      • Will you be able to deal with what I bring?
      • Will it be Confidential?
      • What happens at the end of the Programme?
      • Am I restricted to a particular Programme?
      • What if I am unhappy with the work?
      • Record Keeping
    • Counselling Q&As >
      • What is Counselling?
      • Who is it for?
      • How does it work?
      • How is it delivered?
      • How long does it last?
      • What is the difference between Counselling and Psychotherapy?
      • What kind of Issues can be discussed?
      • Is it Confidential?
      • What is Supervision?
      • What if I have a Complaint?
      • Record Keeping
  • Blogs & Articles
    • Index to Blogs and Articles
  • Client Feedback
  • Contact