​There is a concept that the Japanese call Ikigai which literally translated means the realisation of what one hopes and expects from life.  I prefer to think of it as finding your Useful Purpose as it has the potential to help us to identify a way of using our talents that will bring real and long lasting meaning to our lives. 
 
As a starting point, take some time to think about what you are good at.  You do not need to be thinking about this in terms of any existing roles or jobs you may have had or know about, but instead try to consider all of the special skills, talents and abilities that you have that might set you apart from others.   It might be helpful to reflect on any positive comments from other people as it is often difficult to make a reasonable assessment of our own abilities.
 
As we are looking for something that we will devote a lot of our time to, it is important that we can gain some income from this.   The next area to reflect upon is what you do that you can be paid for.  Again, try not to limit this to any particular role but think about the different ways you might be paid for using your particular combination of skills and experience.  It might also be helpful to reflect upon the various contractual relationships that currently exist and that might come into use in the future.
 
If you now put these two groups together, perhaps there is some type of activity that is common to them both.  If this is the case you may be able to identify a suitable Profession.  Consider how it would be to train for a career that over time might bring increasing status and the material possessions that come with a growing income. 
 
Now think about what the world needs.  Again try to view this in terms of skills and qualities rather than existing jobs or roles, and also reflect upon how you will choose to define the world.  You may decide to think in global terms of the planet and its many peoples as a whole, or you might prefer a more localised definition around your particular community.  Whatever definition you choose, try to think objectively of what that particular world needs the most.
 
Compare this with your earlier thoughts on what you can be paid for.  If you can identify an overlap between these groups, you may be able to identify your Vocation.  You could work towards gaining the respect of the community from your personal commitment to making a contribution that is valued by others. 
 
Now take some time to think about what you love.  Think about what is most important to you, what gives you the most pleasure, and what makes you happy.  Set these against what you are good at and see if there is any common ground.  This may help you to identify your Passion.  Pursuing this could bring you a real and long lasting sense of fulfilment. 
 
Look again at what you love and what the world needs.  If you can find a way of combining both of these, you may be able to identify your Mission. In this way you could have a sense of purpose that is based upon a firm belief that you are making a difference.
 
Each of these could be the culmination of a lifelong journey.  However if you were to achieve any one of these, would it bring complete satisfaction, or would you be left with feelings or desires that were unfulfilled? 
 
What if you were able to identify some way of bringing all of these together?  What you love, what you're good at, what the world needs and what you can be paid for? Then you would be combining a Profession with Vocation, Passion and Mission.  If you could achieve all of this, then some would say that you would have found your Ikigai.  I would say that you will have truly found your Useful Purpose.
 
Finding our Useful Purpose requires a deep and often lengthy search of self, and it may take many years to accomplish. This is not something that many people can achieve by themselves and a skilled coach can be an invaluable companion on this journey.
 
Identifying and then achieving any one of these is a challenge, and that may be enough.  But imagine what your life would be like if you were able to bring all of this together, and imagine the impact that you might have on the lives of others?
 
© 2017 Michael Golding

​Origins of Trauma
Many people are familiar with the idea of battlefield veterans having flashbacks that cause them to wake up screaming as they imagine being back in the war zone.  Some people also experience post-traumatic symptoms having suffered sexual abuse as children and carrying those memories into their adult lives. 
 
While these may seem extreme examples, any of us can have experiences that have the potential to traumatise us.  The trauma could be a single event or an accumulation of repeated episodes.  Witnessing the death of a loved one in dramatic circumstances can create a traumatic memory, while someone bullied over a long period may experience a series of incidents that combine in their minds to form the trauma.
 
Trauma may result whenever we have an intense and overwhelming emotional experience, particularly when it is coupled with acute negative feelings such as fear, guilt or shame.
 
Processing Experiences
For most of us what we experience remains in our thoughts for a short while before being stored as a memory.  Over time it becomes absorbed into our other memories and is largely forgotten.  We can choose to recall the moment, rather like looking through a photo album, and then put it away again.
 
It is a natural process for experiences to gradually move further from awareness making way for newer memories.  Certain peak experiences may remain longer in our thoughts.  This sometimes happens with bereavement as we continue to think about our loved ones long after they have left us, though this too begins to fade with time.
 
Effects of Trauma
People who are traumatised may struggle to forget.  They experience vivid re-enactments of their trauma as deeply disturbing dreams and frequently as daytime thoughts and images intruding unwanted into their daily lives.  These random intrusive thoughts are difficult to manage, being experienced as visions or sounds that disturb and distract them from their everyday tasks as they relive the trauma once again.  While they seem to come at random, something will trigger these memories.  It may be a sound or a smell or they may be brought on by particular feelings such as anxiety or fear.
 
By remaining in our consciousness these thoughts can prevent us from fully engaging with any new experiences so we start to feel dislocated from what is going on around us.  In addition compared with the intensity of the traumatic experience everyday life can begin to seem dull and meaningless making it harder to connect with others including our family and friends. 
 
Resolving Symptoms of Trauma
The first step is to re-connect with what is happening in our lives in the present.  Learning to focus on the moment helps to overcome feelings of dislocation and reduces the impact of intrusive thoughts and images.
 
It may then be possible to explore the traumatic experience so it can be incorporated into our memories.  This involves talking it through in a safe environment with someone who is not going to judge us.  The event is revisited in detail and the associated emotions are identified and acknowledged.  
 
In this way the traumatic event is placed within the wider context of our lives.  While it may remain a peak experience, it no longer feels as extreme and loses the power to cast such a huge shadow over us.
 
Helping people to manage and overcome the feelings resulting from trauma is a delicate process that needs to be managed sensitively to avoid re-traumatising them further.
 
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms you may be dealing with the impact of some trauma and could benefit from specialist help and support.  Many Counsellors are able to work with trauma and can help both with processing the traumatic experience and keeping you grounded in the present.
 
© 2017 Michael Golding