Living with Stress

​Many of us feel stressed or stressed out by certain aspects of our lives.  While this is often focussed on a particular thing we have to do or think about, it can be helpful to look at these stressors within a wider context.
 
Ebb and Flow of Stress
We all have an ideal state of equilibrium when we function at our best.  It is natural for events in our lives to impact on us in ways that change our level of stress.  These periods when we are under additional pressure to perform need to be followed by quieter times so that we can recharge our batteries.
 
Motivation and Control
Stress can be a motivator and with the physiological changes that often accompany it can enable us to achieve more than we normally could.   These changes might include extra adrenaline to speed up our metabolism, an increased heart-rate providing additional oxygen, and a redirected blood flow that favours our muscles and our brain. 
 
When we are able to control the situation we can maintain our focus and achieve much more than usual.  When we are being forced to act, we may feel out of control and can easily become overwhelmed.
 
External and Internal Stressors
External stressors come in the form of unexpected outside events that we need to respond to or the sudden requests and demands of others that we will struggle to fulfil.
 
Our internal stressors are the many shoulds and shouldn’ts that we allow to exert their influence upon us.  These are messages that we have taken on board without necessarily challenging their usefulness or validity. 
 
Whatever the source, we feel we are being forced to take action against our will or possibly beyond our ability.
 
Underlying Stress
Following any period of additional stress we would expect to return to our normal level so that we can prepare ourselves for the next spike.   When we experience stress continuously for a period of time it is easy for this to become our new normal.   We may even stop noticing the impact that it is having on us as we adjust to this new way of being. 
 
When we are living with a high level of underlying stress anything new that comes along can cause us to crank it up yet another notch which can easily push us over the edge.
 
Long term financial or health worries are common causes of underlying stress.  They can be increased by sudden extra financial demands or additional health issues or relapses.   If we are operating from our normal level of stress we would be able to absorb these new pressures more easily.
 
Long-Term Effects of Stress
The long term effects can be both psychological and physical.  Ultimately we risk burnout, which can mean a total collapse of our physical or emotional health.  There are likely to be a number of warning signs along the way.
 
Levels of anxiety may continue to rise until we become overwhelmed.  This can produce spontaneous panic attacks or some form of meltdown such as episodes of uncontrollable rage or tearfulness.  Anxiety is also linked with depression which may be compounded by feelings of helplessness.
 
The physical impact of maintaining a constant level of readiness can range from high blood pressure and heart rate to disturbed sleeping patterns.  The endocrine system controls all of the hormones in the body so any imbalance can have far reaching effects particularly on our skin, our weight and our energy levels.  Our immune system may also suffer leaving us vulnerable to frequent minor infections, such as coughs and colds, and possibly more serious illnesses.
 
Another consequence can be a reliance on alcohol or other substances or behaviours to provide what might seem like a necessary distraction.
 
Managing Stress
Stress is not the problem so much as how we choose to manage it.  While we cannot control every aspect of our lives, we do have some control over how we respond to changes.   By learning what is our optimum level we can try to keep within it.  Being aware of how stressed we are means we can monitor its effect upon us and in particular we can look for the warning signs.
 
We can try to break up stressful periods by making sure we have some down time.  Ironically an actual holiday can be a source of additional stress, but time spent away in familiar surroundings can give us time to recharge our batteries.  Quiet pursuits such as meditation, yoga or gardening can be useful as is physical exercise unless it brings further stress through being overly competitive.
 
When faced with additional stressors it may be helpful to think about the immediate and the long-term impact.  Consider also if there is any way you can exert some control over the situation so that you do not feel so powerless.  In this way you may be able to turn down the volume to reduce the impact so that you can return more easily to your natural level.
 
Where the stress is internal, it can be helpful to reflect upon the origin of some of these shoulds and shouldn’ts and consider whether they really are as absolute as they might first appear.  An experienced counsellor will be able to help you work through these as well as support you in managing the day to day impact of having too much stress in your life.
 
© 2018 Michael Golding