Living with Fear

​Fear is a response to a real or imagined threat of danger, pain or harm to ourselves or those we care about.    Feeling fear can create jittery feelings in our stomach and an increased heart-rate, shallow breathing and the light-headedness that comes with it.   While the physical experience can be similar the reasons behind the feelings will be different for each of us.
 
Responding to Fear
When the threat is immediate we have a natural instinct to either run away or turn and face the problem, known as the flight or fight mechanism.  Adrenaline starts to pump through our veins setting off a range of physiological changes that will help us respond in the most effective way.   There is a third response and that is to freeze and people in these situations often talk of being rooted to the spot and unable to move.
 
However, if there is no need for an immediate response then these automatic physical preparations have no release.  Instead our muscles might shake, we become flushed from the excess blood coursing through our veins, and feel so lightheaded that we might faint. Many people experience this when asked to make a speech or sit an exam.  Others seek out these feelings by watching scary films or engaging in extreme sports.
 
When the Threat is Real
Many people live under threat of harm from others.  The obvious example would be those living in a war zone, but there are many people much closer to home whose daily lives are blighted by fear.  Violence, or the threat of violence, exists in many households and has a profound effect on those who are forced to live with it.  It changes the way we see the world, which becomes an endless minefield we must carefully work our way through. Many of us will develop a range of new behaviours that are less likely to provoke a reaction and minimise the impact when we are caught.
 
When the Threat is Less Real
We can sometimes believe a threat exists even when there is little actual evidence.  This could be because we are persuaded by others that we are vulnerable or perhaps because we have experienced it in the past and imagine that it could happen again.  We see the world as a hostile place and become preoccupied with navigating the dangers and being ready to respond should we need to.
 
Long term Exposure to Fear
Experiencing such fears over a period of time may mean the original symptoms may seem  to fade as we acclimatize to this new way of being.  People living under constant threat find ways to limit their emotions to reduce their vulnerability.
 
Fear becomes anxiety which can emerge in many different ways such as panic attacks, when we are emotionally overwhelmed, or phobias that can become the prime focus for our fears.  We can also experience a general feeling of being fearful that does not seem to be attached to any particular cause or situation.  This makes us watchful and wary as if surrounded by something that might attack any time.
 
So much of our energies are committed to managing these feelings that there may be little time for anything, or anybody, else and can mean we separate ourselves from others.  This detachment can create a sense of isolation and emotional numbness that, for some people, can only be overcome by hurting themselves.  This hypervigilance may also lead to a range of controlling behaviours such as compulsions or eating disorders.
 
The physical impact of always being ready to fight or run can lead to a range of stress related symptoms and ailments.  It can affect our immune system’s ability to fight infections, leaving us open to frequent bouts of common illnesses like colds and flu or more serious diseases.
 
Overcoming our Fears
Just as these situations evolve over time, it may be that we work on gradually reducing our sense of fear.    It might be helpful to explore the components that make up our particular set of fears and to try to identify their origins.  Where those threats still exist we can look at alternative ways of managing or containing them.  If they are rooted in the past it may be possible to sever the links so that they no longer have the power to affect the way we feel.
 
It may also be necessary to unlearn any particular behaviour or other coping mechanisms that may have kept us safe before but which now prevent us from fully enjoying our lives. Learning how to focus on our present situation can often help us differentiate between then and now, allowing us to shrug off our negative feelings from the past.
 
© 2018 Michael Golding