Living on a Spectrum

Life is experienced in the present.  When we reflect on the past and imagine the future we are doing this within the present moment.  For most of us this moment is experienced as being a fixed point from which we look out onto the world.  As each moment passes it would be easy to assume that the point from which we view or experience them is always the same.  The idea that you cannot dip your hand twice into the same place in a moving river is a way of looking at the passage of time.  However this suggests that while the water flows, our position on the bank remains fixed.  This is not the case.  We are viewing an evolving landscape from a moving viewpoint, so we experience a kind of double parallax.

The passing of time means that we are always changing, as is the world around us, though mostly this is experienced as happening very slowly.  However, there are other aspects of this point from which we experience our world which are more noticeably different from one moment to the next.  

A simple example would be how our ability to concentrate fluctuates throughout the day and across the week.  While this may be rooted in metabolic function, our capacity to understand and interpret what is happening around us is affected, which then impacts on our ability to connect with other people.  Ideas and emotions that are easy to access and appreciate at certain times may become elusive.  This changing dynamic will impact directly on how we view the world and will be reflected in the way that others respond to us, which will be affected by their own current states of being.  

The changes in our ability to concentrate suggest there are a range of values and that we move between them.  All ranges can produce an average and it may be tempting to take this as being the real us.  To arrive at a single value would require us to map these levels over time to establish their frequency.  Would this mean that my experience either side of that average is less real and that during those times I am less truly myself?  

There are other aspects of my emotional state which fluctuate, such as my anxiety and my confidence. These are not just a product of my own state but are affected by environment and the people I meet. Irrespective of how I may be feeling initially, my confidence will be affected by the situations I find myself in and the way I am treated by those around me.  They will also be affected by me, so together we create a dynamic interaction that will change from one moment to the next. 

We could broaden the parameters to extend to opposites.  During every day we move between sadness and joy. For some people this can extend into depression while others reach towards mania.  Whatever the limits, there is always movement between the two positions from one moment to the next.

Rather than focus on a middle position, I believe it is better to acknowledge the variation as movement between two points with all positions being equally real and equally valid.  In considering so many aspects of me, being on a spectrum moving between two separate positions, rather than at any fixed point, more accurately reflects my experience.

This can provide a model for human development as it allows for movement in whatever parameter we choose.  Variation means that we are already moving back and forth, so we can drive this movement in our chosen direction.  Perhaps we can achieve this incremental change by focussing on what is needed to promote that movement.  With learning and skills development we can move along the spectrum and by sustaining this effort establish our upper and lower limits in a different place.

This also provides us with a model for difference as we can choose to regard everyone as being positioned along the same spectrum.   If we consider our range of skills and attributes extending in each direction then they will overlap with others who are at a different position from us.  Like us they will be constantly moving, sometimes closer to how we are and sometimes further away.  As long as we view the spectrum from left to right perhaps we can avoid the assumed value judgement that lies behind higher and lower.  It would be wonderful simply to acknowledge difference without assigning positive and negative values.

I embrace the knowledge that we are all constantly changing, orbiting around one another in an endless interactive dance.  When looking either side from our current position memory describes the past and imagination the future.  Only the way we are in this present moment can we be considered to be our true selves.

© 2014 Michael Golding