Learn the Rules or Change the Game?

For thousands of years philosophers and religious scholars around the world have been outlining principles for living well, along with guidance for how this might be achieved.  Each evolutionary step in the production and distribution of the written word has encouraged successive waves of wisdom to flow.  In the last hundred years this has become a torrential outpouring of educational and self-help material apparently focused on increasing our understanding of contemporary living and, in very many cases, explaining in detail how it can be mastered.

A common approach has been to represent modern life as a game and to provide a broad definition of the landscape with detailed descriptions of the rules of engagement.  Some descriptions are specific to certain cultural environments, while others seek to transpose values from one culture to another.  Qualifications and specific qualities needed for success are described in such a way as to seem just about attainable.  

Both the rules and how to succeed are presented as a given, reflecting the originator’s confidence in their particular viewpoint.  The problem for the reader is which playbook to choose.  In many ways the landscape has significantly changed through the years which suggests that what enabled people to be successful a hundred years ago might not necessarily bring the same results today.  There would seem to be core rules and then situation specific guidance, with certain themes running across all settings.

As important as the rules are the definitions of success, how success is measured and what the rewards will be.  Success seems to have been consistently defined either in terms of achieving a particular standard of material worth or arriving at a form of spiritual contentment.  For some these are interdependent, one is not possible without the other, other people choose to focus their efforts on one element believing that the other will follow.  Many of us keep switching our attention, risking missing both targets.

The rules and the subsequent prizes are not arbitrary.  They have been developed over time to reward those qualities believed by many to be necessary strengths.  This hierarchy of skills and abilities is not based upon any universal standard, but would seem to have been agreed by those with power based on their cultural values.  They reflect, as well as confirm, the existing social and political hierarchies.

Those who feel excluded may see this as a conspiracy, while those who are on the inside regard any attempt by outsiders to challenge what they believe to be their deserved privilege as a sign of envy and a threat to their supremacy.

If we are unable to develop these qualities or achieve those qualifications, can we still choose our position or must we accept the one that is offered to us?

However pervasive a system or structure may appear to be, it is not inevitable.  It has been put in place by people and kept in place by other groups of people.  The details of the game are not fixed even though there may be some come core principles about power and influence which seem to have applied in many settings throughout history.

It is also important to note that just because our skills seem to fit does not make it the right game for us to play.  Many people walk a path that seems to fit only to discover later that precious needs were not being met and have started to whither.  If something comes easily then it might be a reason to continue but there must be other measures to confirm besides the amount of effort required.

I believe that there are two important steps in the journey we take to find where we fit.  For me there is a need for a fundamental set of beliefs that form the reference point for all of the decisions and choices that we make.  It feels like these can apply across cultures and through time.  We must then focus upon matching our needs with those of the environment in which we find ourselves, while staying connected to the root system of our beliefs.

I see the role of early education to encourage us to develop these core beliefs and then to learn the fundamental skills to be able to engage effectively with our environment and the people around us.  Later education encourages the development of specialist skills, or perhaps a wider breadth of less specific knowledge, which allow us to flourish.

When skills are learned that are not grounded in a positive personal value system we risk developing a talent to respond superficially to our experiences without fully engaging with the world around us.  Driven either by our own perceived needs or our perception of what is required, the disconnection may not become apparent for some time.  It will be evidenced by an ongoing dissatisfaction, which may be hidden by evidence of temporary success.

Matching our needs with our environment, including the people around us, is perhaps the main prerequisite for a successful life however it is measured.  This requires us to be able to identify and understand what is needed and then to have the ability and assurance to match one with the other.

I believe that we need to develop, and continue to evolve, a set of core principles which are tailored to fit not handed down through the generations by academics, politicians or prophets.   We then need to fully appreciate what is important to us.  As we look beyond ourselves we must try to understand what those around us need and how best we can respond.  This begins with those living close by and extends through and beyond our own culture to include all others. The better the fit between these two worlds, the more successful, and content, we will be.   Finally, we need to regularly sense-check these conclusions to ensure that they continue to meet our collective needs.

It is not for us to shape ourselves to the structure but rather to identify a structure that is a comfortable fit and if we cannot find one that is good enough then it might be necessary to build our own.

© 2015 Michael Golding