From Comfort Zone to Learning Zone

​All babies need to be protected and supported by others as they explore the world around them.   From the moment we are born there is a tension between our need for protection as vulnerable creatures relying on others for food and warmth and a pressing need to learn about our immediate environment.   The scale of this exploration increases as our senses become able to reach further and to process more complex information.  As our understanding of our immediate environment grows, so our world expands.
 
Much of our initial learning is based on the apparently passive receipt of information as we sit in our cots and high chairs, and our interactions with the faces that come into our narrow orbit, though the facial expressions that accompany this constant learning give evidence of the creative effort taking place. This processing of information is further echoed in our many micro movements as we sleep.  From the safety of our crib we reach out to learn more about our world and to explore those particular areas that interest us.
 
This is supplemented by what we see through car windows or from push-chairs or prams as we are taken further afield.  As our strength and skills continue to develop we are able to explore further and in more depth.  Our increasing mobility, through crawling then walking, allows self-directed investigations of our environment.  As our language skills develop, through talking then reading and writing, we are able to target our learning to help us construct a more complete narrative model of the world around us and how it works. 
 
Throughout this period of growth and learning we remain dependent on others for food and warmth and, ideally, also receive emotional support through the care, compassion and love of those closest to us. During our formal education we continue to add to our knowledge of the wider world while exploring our inner world through our relationships.  With further education, or additional training, we continue to grow our skills while refining our understanding and appreciation of our own experiences and those of the people around us. 
 
From this established place of comfort we are able to move into areas of activity and learning where we can risk making mistakes and tolerate the experience of failure before achieving success.
 
Theoretically there would seem to be no limit to our continuing growth and development, but for many of us the process seems to stop either during our school years or very soon afterwards.
 
As with any process of exploration it is important to have a base camp from which to embark on our journeys of discovery and to which we can return to take time to reflect on what we have learned.   As children this base camp would seem to be the family home, usually created by others, from which we receive both sustenance and emotional support.  As adults we create our own homes and, perhaps to a lesser extent, shape the environment in which we work.   Ideally both contribute to our sense of well-being and support us in being able to move beyond what makes us feel most comfortable.
 
I believe that physical and emotional safety is essential if we are to develop a sufficiently strong personal identity so that we can risk going beyond our everyday experiences.  I wonder if the resources that we are able to invest in journeying outside of our comfort zone are proportionate to the solidity of our fortress homes and the strength of the ties that connect us to them.
 
For many people this feeling of safety is linked with places such as family homes and established institutions, and the quality of the relationships with the people that inhabit them, while others carry their sense of security within them without needing to anchor it in any single location.
 
However, for too many children their physical or emotional needs are not met as there is a lack of direct emotional support and no physical safety in their immediate environment.  Where there is no growing sense of security, it is extremely hard for us to establish a solid foundation upon which we can build a successful personal narrative.  Without this firm sense of a positive personal identity we may be unable to risk leaving our citadel and instead must use all of our energies in continually shoring up our fragile defences.  This can also happen when our sense of security is severely undermined such as with the death, or betrayal, of a parent or partner or some other person who has become pivotal in our lives.
 
The scale of this zone of comfort varies for us all.  While initially transferring from the womb to the crib it can continue to grow room by room until it includes the house, then the garden, gradually expanding through the neighbourhood to encompass school and shops and parks.  This literal and metaphorical zone can increase to include colleges, workplaces and other institutions to become a general comfort within a culture or society.
 
The agoraphobic’s fear of what lies beyond their door is shared, albeit to a lesser degree, by very many of us while there are some people who seem comfortable in every setting.  Perhaps the more we are supported, and the earlier this begins, the further from our home base we are able to travel.
 
If we have not been able to develop a solid sense of self then it is unlikely that we will have a well-established comfort zone.  Without a secure comfort zone we are unlikely to be able to risk moving into a learning zone.
 
For those without a trusted set of core beliefs the original process can be recreated through more recent positive personal experiences and knowledge to establish an affirming baseline narrative that also reflects real life experience.   Without this baseline any additional learning can be difficult to achieve and even if this can be overcome we risk having to play catch-up with those who have experienced a far more linear development of their systems for comfort and support.
 
© 2016 Michael Golding