Equilibrium and the Balanced Life

It has become commonplace to refer to a work/life balance as something we should all be aspiring to.   Responsibility for any failure to experience sustained happiness is often blamed on our inability to achieve this, with insufficient boundaries set around our work cited as the main culprit.   Depending upon the profession, responsibility for any imbalance will be laid at the door of the employer, particularly when they can be represented as faceless and uncaring such as a corporate giant or government agency.  
 
In professions with a higher degree of autonomy the individual may have to take the blame.  The term workaholic is used freely to describe anyone who spends abnormally long periods at work, or worse still, who continues to be preoccupied with their work even when they are away from it.
 
While this idea may have begun as useful shorthand it has become a crude expression of a more complex process and by polarizing two key aspects of our lives risks simplifying an experience which deserves more careful consideration.
 
Growing demands on employees has meant that, for some people, their home lives are less satisfying than they, or their families, wish them to be.  Although there seems to be a growing expectation of having less stressful employment and an increasing, and more satisfying, leisure time, resolving this is not simply about reducing the impact of work on our lives. 
 
For many people in salaried employment it might seem possible to split life into two parts.  However calling one work and the other life, is to explicitly create a hierarchy with work not being regarded as a component of life, but something separate from it.  This also says something about the way we might value ourselves and our roles in each of these arenas.
 
Significant numbers of people are in a position where they feel they have to accept whatever employment terms are offered, often combining part-time and full-time jobs to create enough income to support them and their families.  These are not usually the people who complain about lack of balance as they are more concerned with earning enough to get through the month.
 
For people able to exercise more choice, many are drawn to roles that require a degree of commitment that extends beyond what would be regarded as typical working hours.  They are not concerned about imbalance, though their friends and family may use this phrase.  I believe that people seek out these jobs because of the defining nature of the professional identity they confer and that this combines with their personal identity to create and maintain a positive self-image.  Only when the investment fails to bring in the returns, either in the present or when past efforts do not produce expected rewards, will they call foul.
 
Implicit in this description of balance is an assumption that we should be applying equal resource to all areas of our lives.   If this were the case, how then do we accommodate the different demands that are inherent in each situation?  Trainees in many professions are expected to dedicate significant amounts of time and energy to reach a necessary standard to practice safely and effectively.  The return on this investment may not be realised until much later in their careers through financial rewards, professional status and satisfaction.  
 
The same longer term strategy may be thought to apply to other aspects of our lives, such as the sacrifices often described as being necessary to create and support a family.  This too could be regarded as an investment whose benefits will only be realised over time.  Where that promise is not fulfilled there can be a sense of a lack of fairness, particularly if the expected benefits are being enjoyed by someone else.
 
Perhaps balance is a measure of how much resource, energy and effort we put in set against the time, money or other benefits received.  We expect there to be a balance between what we put in and what we get out, whether at the time or later, and where this transaction is not satisfying it might be that we feel let down.   Is the feeling of imbalance a reflection on the disappointment of the later returns – that we did not get as much as we hoped, it was not as good as we expected or did not have the effect or impact that was desired? 
 
Setting known investment against unknown, though expected, rewards must surely be a gamble with faith in our own judgment or the promises of others determining the odds.  It would seem to me that trading present time for future rewards becomes an increasingly risky investment, particularly as we get older. 
 
For me achieving balance is not about evaluating time spent doing one thing set against time doing something else.  It is not an investment of the present against future rewards.  It is not based upon comparisons.
 
There are occasions when we are required to give our all, without the promise of any future return.  In these situations the value of our efforts can only be measured in the present.
 
What if we adopted this approach to all that we do so that rather than trying to balance one experience against another we were to focus on the intrinsic value of what we are doing at any one time irrespective of any possible future benefits?
 
While there will always be unpleasant tasks that we might wish to reward ourselves for once they are completed,  this does not mean splitting our existence into good and bad, enjoyable and unenjoyable.  To approach life as we would a bank, putting effort in now so that we can possibly draw upon it in the future, is to lose sight of the value of the moment. 
 
Separating work from the rest of our life is also to deny the pleasures and value to be found in each and to fail to recognise their interdependence.  By compartmentalising our lives in this way we risk separating out other equally important aspects so that our experience becomes one of detached elements rather than a contiguous whole.
 
Balance is not an end point, and cannot be pursued as a goal in itself.  There is not one moment which once established can be applied to our ever changing circumstances.  Balance is giving the entire situation the specific resources it requires and deserves and will need to be negotiated again and again.  There is a rhythm inherent in every situation and this natural balance will emerge if we allow it to.
 
To achieve equilibrium requires an acceptance of the imbalance that comes from the many swinging pendulums that constantly shift across multiple axis throughout our lives and the lives of those around us.
 
By being aware of the need to be actively balancing all aspect of our lives within the moment, we can try to achieve the natural equilibrium that is inherent in every situation.
 
​© 2016 Michael Golding